he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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