I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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