The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
