there was a trapeze. enough said
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
