Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
