Where did you get a picture of my penis
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
