Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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