Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
