dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
