youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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