That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
