Sponge bath it is.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
