She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
