you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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