i need an iv and a liver transplant
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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