There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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