I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
