We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The best revenge is premature balding
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
