I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
