dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
