I want to have your abortion
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize