why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
