After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
