I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
