OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
