theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
