It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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