apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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