No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
