Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
