All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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