but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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