dude i'm inner monologue high
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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