I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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