Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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