Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
