I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
