Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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