i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
