We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
