the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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