No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
