the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
porn star boner night. come get it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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