i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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