Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
