Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
