He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
