Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
