imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
