there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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