the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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