dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
