i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize