I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
