Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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