Don't you send me to vm
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
