The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
