Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You have to summon your inner elephant
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
