Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
