I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
